My Dirty Little Secret- I’m An Addict.

I HAVE AN ADDICTION

One that has enslaved me and has ruled my entire life.

My addiction influences everything I do, and it has given me amazing highs but also incredible Lows.

Some have called it ambition, others have called it drive- but what it really is is an addiction to high-level performance.

From when I was 16 years old and in high school, I felt I had to balance 2 part time jobs on top of school and work.

During college at 18 years old I was a full-time student and worked full time to cover my expenses while living on my own.

Now in my adult life at 23 I have pursued 5 ventures in the last 2 years and have always had one thing in mind:

WORK.

I didn’t believe in days or time off for ME, I didn’t believe in coming home at 5 pm and watching TV until bedtime. I had to always be working towards something, building something, “growing” in some way.

This sounds great in theory, but the lack of BALANCE led to my consistent demise.

Here’s the thing, my entire life I have used my performance as validation of my worth. You see I have always been a confident person; I’m forward, outspoken and secure of my views. But being confident in person does not mean I understood or acknowledged my value; the fact that my health, mental wellness and sanity mattered TOO.

I have only come to start to care about my value THIS YEAR, and it has transformed me in many ways.

I want you to understand that this has nothing to do with how I demand people to treat me, or what I expect to receive. This has EVERYTHING to do with how I treat myself. Having a low self-worth is not cured by demanding better from people and their interactions with you, it starts first within yourself and how you care about YOU and choose to put YOU first.

For me this meant acknowledging that my addiction for consistent high-level performance was not giving me self-worth, it was denying it from me, because I was denying myself the personal benefits of living a more balanced life.

Here’s how I came to realize my addiction; I burned out. I observed how my mind fought against me when I took time OFF to care for myself. I felt worthless every single day, for weeks. I stayed strong, more than because I simply couldn’t work because my burnout was so bad, but because I knew the right thing to do was to slow down and tend to myself.

I started to feel better, not only mentally, but that outward confidence started to be backed by a calmness and certainty of self that I had not experienced before. I went from feeling guilty from taking care of me to telling myself FORGET everything else, it’s ALL about me in this moment and that’s all that matters.

I say I told myself, because I literally did. I had that internal dialogue every hour of every day that I was “lazy”. I WENT ON STRIKE AGAINST MYSELF. I have always rebelled against outside influences, this time I rebelled against my own insecurities- and it was LIBERATING.

To all of you fellow high-level performance addicts that are hitting roadblock after roadblock, with all your luxuries, income, achievements and outward success, but lacking in fulfillment, joy and self-worth; try putting yourself first for a change and experience the clarity and peace of mind that comes with it.  

Much Love – Laurie

Taking Back Control of Life After a Decade of Addiction- With Sam Anthony

Sam shares his story of struggling with drug and alcohol abuse for over a decade from his teen years into adulthood. Sam had an overdose which hospitalized him, but that wasn’t enough to break his addiction. One fateful night when he was caught and arrested for breaking and entering into a home of a friend, he decided he really needed to change. And change he did. Since that night Sam has dedicated his life to sharing his story with others to help inspire, motivate and encourage students and business professionals alike. This is a great episode with individuals dealing with their own struggles with addiction and also parents with children that might be at risk!

Sam Anthony- Get In Touch!
Samanthonyspeaks.com
Sam@samanthonyspeaks.com
@sam_anthony_speaks

Conscious Relationships and the Cultivation of a Healthy Masculinity – With Stefanos Sifandos

Fella’s this is a special one for you! Stefanos Sifandos is a spiritual mindset and relationship coach. On this episode he shares about his struggles in love that had forced him to venturing into a period of deep self-discovery and exploration. Mainly when it came to relationships and how to develop a healthy masculine nature in contemporary times. He is passionate about teaching others about how to establish loving, mutually beneficial and thriving relationships through his teaching of conscious relationships. He shares some great information on how to be more self-aware as men and thrive in life and in love.

Stefanos Sifandos- Get In Touch!
@stefanossifandos
www.reclaimyourkingdom.com
stef@stefanossifandos.com

Overcoming a Life of Guilt, Shame, and an Approval Addiction- With Christian Farris.

This episode is by far one of my favorite episodes because of the completely authentic and open conversation I had with Christian. Christian is a Coach, father, and husband and he is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to how to conquer your body, mind, and spirit. In this raw episode, we dive into how to overcome guilt, remove shame and the value in becoming more self-aware. He also shares a personal challenge he had to painfully face, an addiction for approval, that he was forced to discover and resolve after 2 failed marriages and decades of guilt and pain. There is so much VALUE in this episode, let me know your thoughts!

Christian Farris- Get In Touch!
Docfarris.com
Docfarriscoaching@gmail.com
@followthedoc

Finding Your Strength, Confidence & Courage- With Alexa Carlin

Alexa Carlin is a sought-after speaker on women’s empowerment, entrepreneurship, and personal growth. She is the founder of the Women Empower Expo (WEX) which is the largest event for female entrepreneurs on the East coast, where women can support each other, find funding, and connect with other like-minded individuals. She started her entrepreneurial ventures when she was only 17 years old, but at the age of 21, she went into septic shock, was induced into a medical coma and was given a one-percent chance of living. Alexa fought to defy the odds and used her near-death experience as a sign that she was meant to impact others in a bigger way.

Alexa Carlin- Get In Touch!
@alexarosecarlin
Alexacarlin.com


Why People Don’t Follow Their Dreams

I came out to meditate and reflect on the transition I am making right now. The last couple of weeks have been one of the most transformative moments of my life. When it comes to a position of financial stability, I had that, but what I was doing was unfulfilling. So, I am starting all over, and jumping into an industry I am unfamiliar with, leaving everything I once thought I wanted, and it is all quite unsettling.

Understandably, I have been feeling heavy in my heart and head, not exactly expressed by anything specifically, but just a conflict of sorts. At the same time, I am calm and at peace with my decisions, It’s an interesting blend of energy.

Humans have emotions and these emotions are powerful. They can prevent us from living out our dreams. And the strongest emotion is that of FEAR. There is truly only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: The fear of failure. But going out and meditating by the river today I watched the river and I learned something.

A river is forever ongoing, its nature is to run continuously, and without ceasing. The river might face disturbances in the form of rocks, boulders, or the edges of the land that serve as guides to keep the river on its path. When the river confronts those barriers, it becomes tumultuous and unsettled. Powerful. This agitation continues until the river has passed the barriers and then it returns to be calm, it’s natural state. Throughout its journey to its destination, which will be something larger than itself (a bay, ocean, or lake), the river will meet with many barriers in different forms. It will become agitated, but it will then pass and return to tranquility. But most importantly, the river never ceases to continue on its path of destiny. It is destined to become something grander than it currently is.

It’s the law of the World. Humans are part of nature, part of creation, and we all deal with change in similar ways. We become unsettled and agitated, but nature understands this is part of life and fulfilling our destinies. Rivers do not cease to run, and trees do not cease to grow. They do not fear failure. They adapt and they conform. Fear of failing is usually more significant than the failure itself. But I would much rather live my life as I dream, free and with a sense of high, than to live a life formed by fear and never truly living. Therefore, failing by default.

Relentlessly Pursuit What You Deserve in Life- With Eric Balance

Eric Balance has always shown true grit and commitment in his life to relentlessly pursuing the things that he was passionate in. This way of being wasn’t always used to his benefit, however, and early in life he fell victim to an addition to crack cocaine that he could not shake for years. Throughout his life he would always feel UNSATISFIED with his circumstances and refused to settle, which always pushed him to keep seeking progress. He always knew deep down there was more to life, and he was hungry to acquire that for himself. Currently, Eric runs a successful online business with clients worldwide where he helps people in their fitness, spiritual and business journeys. In this episode Eric shares his struggle with addiction, finding his purpose, and leaving love for the sake of fulfilling his life’s mission. Things get DEEP in this episode!

Eric Balance – Get In Touch!
eric@ericbalance.com
ericbalance.com
@ericbalance
@balancebodiesfitness

How to Live a Life Without Self-Made Limits- With Stuart Knight

Stuart is a serial entrepreneur, motivational speaker, thought leader and disruptor. He has gone through life always questioning what set the foundation for his beliefs of himself and society which later inspired his life motto “Boycott What You Thought”. Despite not having the support of his family when he decided to pursue his goals in life and later finding himself in incredible debt of $250k at 28 years old, he always kept his head above water by focusing instead on controlling his mindset. He is now running his successful public speaking company and shares with us his perspective in life and what kept him always working towards his dreams.

Stuart Knight- Get In Touch!
info@stuartknight.com
www.stuartknight.com
IG: @stuartsknight
Twitter: Stuart_Knight